(Jonah comes in gasping and covered in sun-block) I just don't believe it! One week I'm drowning in water... Another week I'm gasping for it... Any chance of a drink? (Someone gives him a glass of water) Ah! That hits the spot! Anyway... Did you get my postcard, from sunny Nineveh? Dreadful place! Give me Ballybeen any day. But you'll never guess what happened after I wrote the postcard... There I was, I'd done what God had asked me to... I'd told the Ninevites exactly what God thought of them... I didn't miss them and hit the wall, let me you! I told them they had 40 days before God was going to destroy them... And you should have seen their faces. They knew their number was up. I'd really got to them... They started weeping and wailing, and did the old sack-cloth and ashes bit. Its always the same; tell people they're doomed and they start on about how dreadfully sorry they are... Well, I said, its too late... 40 days and you've had your chip
Dialogues, monologues, sketches, poems, rants, theological and liturgical bits and bobs and miscellaneous other verbal doodles...