Skip to main content

The Seismic Effect of Short Skirts


Given that the pall of volcanic ash had drifted over Europe for a week, grounding most commercial air traffic, I was just thinking that we hadn't heard any pronouncements from Pat "Rent-a-quote" Robertson or his ilk, telling us that this was a sign of God's wrath (perhaps if the wind had blown the ash over the US rather than over Europe it would have registered), when I came across this reference to a report by the Association of Orthodox Experts. According to them this is a "menacing sign of God" caused either by the fact that Iceland is a centre of Aryan neo-paganism or/and the hoary old issue of homosexuality.
However as William Crawley pointed out on his blog a couple of days ago, it is not just fundamentalist Christians who offer such supernatural analyses of natural disasters. Last Friday, Islamic cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi, told worshippers in Tehran that the all-too-frequent earthquakes in Iran were down to the immodest dress of women there.

A couple of days ago my wife, who is a woman of the world not easily given over to Daily Mail-esque rants about "young people today" came home shocked at the length of skirt worn by 2 girls in the school uniform of a local girls grammar school. As a married, middle aged man with fully functioning hormones I do not need such things pointed out... in fact I do my level best NOT to notice them... But if this Muslim cleric is right, then I expect Northern ireland to be wiped off the map by a massive earthquake/ volcano/ hurricane/ tornado/ flood/ asteroid or combination of all of these any day now...
But over at FaithinIreland Patrick Mitchel points out that at least one archaeologist believes that a previous volcanic eruption may have brought about the wholesale Christianisation of Ireland (its only slightly less believable than some of the St. Patrick legends)... So you never know the repercussions of a grammar school girl in a short skirt.

ps. Scotteriology highlights a proposed experiment to test out the theory of the above mentioned Muslim cleric...





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Woman of no Distinction

Don't often post other people's stuff here... But I found this so powerful that I thought I should. It's a performance poem based on John 4: 4-30, and I have attached the original YouTube video below. A word for women, and men, everywhere... "to be known is to be loved, and to be loved is to be known." I am a woman of no distinction of little importance. I am a women of no reputation save that which is bad. You whisper as I pass by and cast judgmental glances, Though you don’t really take the time to look at me, Or even get to know me. For to be known is to be loved, And to be loved is to be known. Otherwise what’s the point in doing either one of them in the first place? I WANT TO BE KNOWN. I want someone to look at my face And not just see two eyes, a nose, a mouth and two ears; But to see all that I am, and could be all my hopes, loves and fears. But that’s too much to hope for, to wish for, or pray for So I don’t, not anymore. Now I keep to myself And by that

Psalm for Harvest Sunday

A short responsive psalm for us as a call to worship on Harvest Thanksgiving Sunday, and given that it was pouring with rain as I headed into church this morning the first line is an important remembrance that the rain we moan about is an important component of the fruitfulness of the land we live in: You tend the land and water it And the earth produces its abundance. You crown each year with your bounty, and our storehouses overflow with your goodness. The mountain meadows are covered with flocks and the valleys are filled with corn; Your people celebrate your boundless grace They shout for joy and sing. from Psalm 65

Anointed

There has been a lot of chatter on social media among some of my colleagues and others about the liturgical and socio-political niceties of Saturday's coronation and attendant festivities, especially the shielding of the anointing with the pictured spoon - the oldest and perhaps strangest of the coronation artefacts. Personally I thought that was at least an improvement on the cloth of gold canopy used in the previous coronation, but (pointless) debates are raging as to whether this is an ancient practice or was simply introduced in the previous service to shield the Queen from the TV cameras, not for purposes of sacredness, but understandable coyness, if she actually had to bare her breast bone in puritan 1950s Britain. But as any church leader knows, anything performed twice in a church becomes a tradition. All this goes to show that I did actually watch it, while doing other things - the whole shooting match from the pre-service concert with yer wumman in that lemon-